Once again life is a learning opportunity for us who are ill equipped with the basic tools needed for everyday, well Life.
My family have been attempting to get a second vehicle for a long, long time but just have never been able to do it.  It usually has been finance related, as a one income household taking on a car payment just doesn't make much sense.  In addition someone has to be willing to sale a car to someone with less than perfect credit, its getting better but still not stellar.  This usually regulates people in our circumstances to buy here pay here places.  These people pray on those who are not able to purchase a car another way and fall into what seems to be an unregulated nightmare similar to payday loan hovels, but I digress...
We did not go to one of these places to finance our vehicle, we were blessed from some friends who in all purposes gave us a van. Suddenly we have two vehicles and just as suddenly the second van begins to develp issues.  At this same time we also got our tax returns, which we had not been expecting due to other issues and used to catch us up on bills but did leave us with some left over.
The intelligent thing to do would to have fixed the one van and saved the difference but I guess I'm not that smart.  We decided to use the old van and the cash to hopefully get a good deal.  Have I mentioned the fact that I know nothing about cars, I mean very little. We got ripped off!  I should have just walked up and handed some stranger the keys to our van and the money and said have a good day because that would have probably helped someone.  I did attempt to talk to the car dealer but he was unapologetic but did offered to take the car back, see what he could get for it at auction then put me in something "nicer", maybe at a discounted rate. The other option he had was there are a group of mechanics he works with and he would be happy to direct me towards one of them. Ha, ha...fool me once shame on me.
There are so many things wrong with this vehicle but I am trying to work them out so that Sarah is not stranded at home.  Today I attempted to change my own oil, I watched the videos on YouTube and I had all the stuff.  I crawled underneath, or as far as I could get and loosened the bolt and out the oil came into the pan.  My oldest is sunder the car and says "Dad is oil supposed to be red"?  well no its not!
I had just drained my transmission, which doesn't have a refill spout but you need a funny tool and brains to be able to fill it.  It just gets worse from there but I know if I die right at this moment I will go to Heaven but some of the things coming out of my mouth did not edify God in anyway.  In all of this I am just happy that my wife is OK, my children are healthy and God has a lot of grace because I don't.
Why can't I forgive this man who lied and stole money from my family?  He will continue to cost me money into the for see able future.  Why can't I forgive myself for feeling so foolish, feeling like I have let my family down and put undo stress onto my wife who really doesn't need any.  Why can't I be more like my Savior and forgive?  Why, why, why...?