What am I supposed to make of this?

What is being allowed, no not just allowed but promoted to our children? Sometimes the Bible plays out parts right in front of our faces, and yet we can't see it because we want to be...I don't know anymore!  Romans tells us in chapter 1 verses 27-28 what we see in this picture and its an abomination.
"...and the men likewise gave up natural relations with women and were consumed with passion for one another, men committing shameless acts with men and receiving in themselves the due penalty for their error. And since they did not see fit to acknowledge God, God gave them up to a debased mind to do what ought not to be done."

An unknown person reading books to children in a public library

I was just reflecting on a passage from Scripture because I have a bone deep weariness.

     ^"11 Let us therefore strive to enter that rest, so that no one may fall by the same sort of disobedience. ¹² For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart. ¹³ And no creature is hidden from his sight, but all are naked and exposed to the eyes of him to whom we must give account." Hebrew 4:11-13.

As I find my self more and more consumed with the cares of this world, the less and less joy I seem to have.  I was at a NAMB event over this last weekend and we were told that we needed to prepare a short sermonette, about 8 minutes.  My Bible time and my time with God lately has been like a desert but the sermon.  
There was joy, my heart seemed to sing out to God and the beauty of His word sung to me.  For the last several years all I have had the opportunity to delivery has been funeral sermons.  I do realize the importance and can be important evangelism tools but preaching Gods word, that different.  When I preached those 8 minutes it felt like it was "right", that's the best way to explain it. 
The weariness lifted, it seemed as if I had walked out of the desert from which I had put myself.  Its funny how we do this, I work a bunch of "ministry" jobs that barely pay, have incredibly odd hours, very high demands and seem to be hurting my family.  I have made the excuses for the longer time in between family devotions and my devotions with my wife.  My own spiritual life is in the tank; it would seem from doing the very ministry that I should be working harder on my own spiritual life for.
God is good, in one days study for an 8 minute sermonette He corrected me with His love, wow!

Learning Through Pain

If you are in church long enough, especially in the ministry, you will hear horror stories about how we as believers treat each other. This was one of the biggest shocks that I think happened to me, the fact that we profess so much love,caring and grace for our fellow believers yet when things go bad, as they are prone to do then they will be the first to point fingers. Before Christ called me to Him, I truthfully didn't like people, most could not be trusted and the ones that I did took a very long time to earn that trust, most relationships where very superficial. Then Christ goes and saves me, makes me want to love my fellow man, something completely antithetical to me and at first I thought how am I going to do this?
I opened myself up to His word and studied, I tried to live out the "Love thy neighbor as thyself" even though at first I did not agree or understand. I expected non-believers to turn on me, show me there true selves but to be bitten by those who profess to care for me, really caused me heart pain. See, Christ changed my heart, he gave me one of flesh that really feels and with that can come pain, which I am completely not able to deal with on my own.
If you don't know me then I will tell you something about myself, I fall into the Reformed school of thought. I am a 4 point Calvinist, because I cannot find any true evidence for Limited Atonement, this is just some background to explain part of my outpouring. If you listen to most people who profess to be reformed and listen for any length of time, they will talk about Grace. Yet, I have found that many lose any sense of Grace or what Grace truthfully means. God's Grace is awesome, its what saved a sinner like me, yet many of my fellow reformed types miss it all together.
They have become bogged down in a Neo-Pharisaical Legalism, not showing Grace and Love but use the Bible as a hammer to beat people to conform to what they believe is right. They have lost or maybe just missed the section where Jesus (also through out the epistles) that we are to do all thing out of love. We get tied up with all of head knowledge without it ever touching our hearts, so we judge people with impossible standards and leave out any Love or Grace.
I was hurt very badly by those whom I loved the most here on earth. I believe that there is a reason for everything but that doesn't help with the pain. I have to switch churches, move my family to a new body of believers, hoping that it wont happen again. All the while I am trying to truly forgive those who have caused my family and myself this pain, so if you are reading this please pray not only for me but for those who have caused this.